Rejected headlines for this piece include:
• Our 13-inch long subs are 13-inchier than other 13-inch long subs
• Our 13-inch long subs may only be 13 inches long, but they're longer than anyone else's 13-inch long subs
• Not all 13-inch subs are 13 inches long. Ours are actually literally about 13 inches long
• Our 13-inch long subs are longer, because we measure our 13-inch long subs in metric
• Ask the other guys how long their 13-inch subs are. I betcha ours are more
• Their 13-inch subs may be just as long as our 13-inch subs, but ours are longer.
• Our 13-inch long subs are 13-inchier than other 13-inch long subs
• Our 13-inch long subs may only be 13 inches long, but they're longer than anyone else's 13-inch long subs
• Not all 13-inch subs are 13 inches long. Ours are actually literally about 13 inches long
• Our 13-inch long subs are longer, because we measure our 13-inch long subs in metric
• Ask the other guys how long their 13-inch subs are. I betcha ours are more
• Their 13-inch subs may be just as long as our 13-inch subs, but ours are longer.